Most people will associate Executive MBA with high intelligent candidates, hard-core study, and a great career afterward.
Well, I want to share the HIDDEN side of my special journey with PAIN and TEARS.
In 2019, I found myself become 'LAZY'.
I have NO interest in the world, I did not care anything.
I STOPPED talking to people, even to my boyfriend.
I did not finish my assignments ON TIME.
So, when I felt do anything I just worked NON-STOP for few days. And then, I CANNOT do anything for weeks.
Those were significant symptoms for "Bipolar Disorder", which 0.3%-1.2% of the population have across countries.
Then I also found that the global population with 2%-6% Depression and 2.5%-7% Anxiety Disorders.
I was SHOCKED. That's a lot, right?
I guess I was the "LUCKY" one.
I did not feel like doing anything.
I did not want to talk to anyone.
I did not value myself anymore.
My program manager Gea worried about me but she cannot reach me.
Registrar ladies Eveline & Alina also wanted to know what happened to me, but they can't.
My boyfriend tried to tell me he loved me but he heard nothing back.
Don't get me wrong, my "logical" mind was still working. I knew what I SHOULD do.
It's just, I wanted to stay in my own CAVE and disconnect from the whole world.
The cycle of going into a cave, and getting out kept coming back and forth.
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
It's like I'm holding a credit card of my "energy", if I overuse it then I need to pay it back.
And the one who decides when to spend, how much to spend was not me.
After thorough consideration, I decided to postpone my study for another year.
I got to know great team members who understood my situation.
I got support from RSM to continue my EMBA.
In the end, I MADE it!
I completed my Executive MBA.
I started my business as a career coach.
I got married.
As long as we still have faith, work on it, the results WILL come.
I appreciate my life-changing year 2020.
The year I learned to 'Dance with Bipolar'.
This is now a long time ago, and everything worked out beautifully.
No one is having a life in every way that he or she wants.
We will all have ups and downs.
There is one thing we can do.